16th of September 2011

You have gone away enough.

33 times.

You did it 33 times.

Again and again and again you forgot.

Pissing in the litter box tucked under the bathroom sink you felt as though you owned everything.

You pounce on the little bits of shit as if the smell is enjoyable.

Don’t you want to remember what life really smells like?

And please don’t beat yourself up, not any more.

It is just that you have always had a choice. The only dead end is death. Won’t you turn around?

Please, we would really like you to stay.

And for the love of God stop shitting in the corner it smells terrible.

11th of March 2011

(Source: colinself)

31st of December 2010

(Source: colinself)

29th of November 2010
16th of November 2010


8th of November 2010
5th of November 2010
Fell in love with a girl, y’all! Buy her album and make her famous so she’ll come play in my city.

Fell in love with a girl, y’all! Buy her album and make her famous so she’ll come play in my city.

4th of November 2010
30th of October 2010

Sometimes I drink beer with a .doc open

One of those days you slosh around in

Like a barrel.  Up there’s sky some shade of sad.

Here is you in your small box of nerves.  Oh

I forgot I was writing this down,

Guys, I forgot I was moving my hands.

In Russia there’s a river I grew old beside.

I couldn’t stop coming back to see myself

Worsen.  No, that’s not it—I lost a love there,

Returned to hear the ripping sound

Of water running away from its banks.


Water runs away from itself.  We know

Where we are, because that’s where

We aren’t.  In a booth at that smelly bar

Someone said “What a mistake to think

Who you are with people is who you are”

So ever since every corner I turn I think

“If that’s not me then there I am.”  Too bad

Everyone can’t be as lovely and as sad. 

The barrel I live in smells of mildew and sex,

Yesterday’s milk souring someone else’s mouth,

Somebody’s mother with sweat on her lip. 

The secret I don’t tell?  I sing myself to sleep

With a chorus:  You’re the one that no one

Can desire!  In dreams I scamper at the edges,

Invisible, harmless, black heart on fire. 

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